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I don't want to hate men.

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Very seriously thinking about quitting camming on (camsite 1) and finding myself full time “normal” job to pay the rent..Then I can cam part time on (camsite 2) in the evenings.

I love (camsite 2) and have a great time but I just can't rely on it for a steady income. One night I will make $$$ and the next I will make 0.

When it comes to (camsite1) …Ugh. I just can't.

I can make good money there but it just feels like I am destroying my soul. I just can't do it. The sexual stuff is fine, I just hate the attitudes of the guys.

I just have such idiots in my room with no personality, no matter how fun and engaging I try to be and I feel like it's getting worse.

My main issue with camming so much as a fulltime job, is that I feel it is training me to actually hate and despise men. I hate how they are always trying to get stuff for free. I hate how they think they are so clever all the time. I hate how they are so ENTITLED. I hate how they think their cock is the greatest thing since sliced bread. I hate how rude they can be.

I HATE HOW THEY CAN BE SO MIND NUMBINGLY BORING.

I hate how, on (camsite 1) I sat there yesterday, bored because no one was talking to me, so I recited the ‘Jabberwocky' out loud to my room. All someone had to say to me after was ‘Nice rack'.

What the fuck. Get a personality.

ANYWAY.

I don't know. I think it's time to get a job. I can enjoy (camsite 2) then, without stressing if I have bad days. And the more relaxed I am about money, the more people tip.

I DON'T WANT TO HATE MEN. I like humanity. I don't want to hate people based on their gender. That is sexism. But it is getting that way and it scares me. Things must change.


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Photo: Top Right, 'Hug' by Manu Valcarce
'Rosalind' violin/rose image by Vera Rodriguez
for other credits click here.
© Experimental Experience 2018 Photo of our cast hugging from the 2014 teaser performance at Bar Wotever at the Vauxhall Tavern